Rise of the Runelords - [GoodOmens]

Ornias FinkleWrucker

7,094,385 YA
14th Month, 82nd Day

Again, again, my turn again! I get to go to the mortal plane and “instruct” some hapless moron in using infernal magic. It seems that with every generation they get more willing to compromise and ever more ignorant of the consequences. Two centuries ago it would’ve taken a boon that only middling devils could provide to get some mortal from Cheliax to give up even a sliver of their soul. Now? Let’s just say that I heard about some child giving up his ability to feel joy; just so he could light small things on fire.

7,094,385 YA
14th Month, 94th Day

It seems my ‘charge’ is named Luciano. The human has some talent for magic, but its balanced by his lazy tendencies. At least the mortal is conscripting others to take care of tasks he deems unworthy for himself.

7,094,385 YA
14th Month, 96th Day

Excellent! He’s managed to start weaving infernal energies into his sword magic. I’ll have the boy trading over chunks of his soul in no time. By His infernal balls this is easy.

7,094,385 YA
15th Month, 12th Day

A ring… A thrice damned, tines sucking, whore loving, dog fucking, lemur fancying RING! The scheming bastard turned my own binding magic against me. He managed to intuit the rudimentary contract magic and use it to make me his thrall. Ugh… I mean, this isn’t the first time this has happened, but each time I was a laughing stock for at least a century or two. I’ll have to kill so many other imps when he slips up to earn some semblance of respect back.

7,094,386 YA
4th Month, 9th Day

It seems not all hope is lost, by capitulating and at least feigning some bit of loyalty the whoreson is listening to me. Well, it’s only every 1/20 bits of advice, but it’s a start. Most mortals only live a century anyway.

7,094,386 YA
6th Month, 11th Day

Ha! He was questioning whether or not to violate what small set of morals he had… It seems he wanted some kind of tome from the library. So I politely suggested he merely “borrow” the damn thing. He relented. It was apparently one of the last things he needed to finish a thesis on Thesselonian history. Something about how theories with how the runes interacted with known forms of mortal magic.

7,094,386 YA
8th Month, 2nd Day

Goblins… Stupid, green, hungry, always hungry. What do humans call those fish things with all the teeth? Basically that’s what a goblin is, but on land. Smelly little fucks. He comes to some stupid town, filled with even more idiotic people. All just to end up in service to them. “Helping” them. All of this altruism is ruining what I’ve got going with him.

7,094,386 YA
8th Month, 4th Day

More of the little green shits. Everywhere, all the time. I swear these things are like vrock lice. My master managed to kill a few more, and his new companions did a good job slaughtering the pathetic yowlers. That dwarf has promise.

7,094,386 YA
8th Month, 5th Day

This just got a lot better. It seems I have a friend in that gnome. He figured out a trick to getting me out of the ring, so I’ve been able to sneak out when master fuckwit isn’t looking. Only downside is that the gnome is the one who lets me out. I can do it myself, yet. We’re supposed to be going to some island walking distance from town.

7,094,386 YA
8th Month, 5th Day

Oh sweet sweet suffering. That island was teeming with hate, madness, and murder. I was used like a some kind of scent hound, but it was worth it. That was some good evil. Kudos to the ‘chef’.

7,094,386 YA
8th Month, 6th Day

Glassworks, blood everywhere, and then down in the cellar? The best part of all. So much necrotic energy. It was oozing from the walls in there. Sin Spawn gave them a bit of trouble. That dwarf went on a fucking rampage. Loved it.

7,094,386 YA
8th Month, 6th Day

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. SHIT DAMN FUCK. I HAD IT. I FUCKING HAD IT. THAT DELICIOUS JUICE ROLLED DOWN MY THROAT LIKE IT WAS FROM LAMASHTU’S CUNT ITSELF. POWER SURGING THROUGH ME AND THOSE ASSHOLE STILL MANAGED TO PUT ME DOWN. DAMN THIS BULLSHIT TO AZMODEUS’ SWEATY TAINT.

7,094,386 YA
8th Month, 6th Day

Okay, I’m calm, this day wasn’t quite so bad. I got to smack a cute mephit giving my jailer and his companions some trouble. On top of that, the dwarf enraged from the sin spawn. AGAIN. The look on that gnome’s face was hilarious. I like the little devil-in-gnome’s clothing. But the sound he made as the dwarf smashed through the door would have had me crying with laughter. If I could cry. For a second there I was hopeful, the human fell in some silly attempt at bravado. He rushed forward and nearly died.

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MParker546 Jirekianu

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